Saturday, May 31, 2014

Jumping Back In: Online Dating Profiles--- Reading is FUNdaMENTAL

Last week I blogged about my foray into online dating and how to write a profile. Read that blog here.
In keeping with the theme of profiles, let's talk about ACTUALLY READING them. We all know the joke that men don't read instructions or directions. The reason it is so funny is that there is a large element of truth to it. Come on, you are nodding your head right now in agreement. Guys you know you are sometimes (being polite here) guilty of it or have buds who are and ladies well… we've all been there.
Profiles are your chance to make an impression and weed through or help someone weed through the pile. It gives the other person directions on which way to go in getting to know you or not.
So the first rule, gentleman is complete the profile!
I see too many men who have not taken the time to complete the standard categories. These are tell us about yourself. What are you looking for? And "I'd like to add". We don't need War & Peace but give us something to go on.

I appreciate those who tell me enough about themselves to get past the first decision point.
Then BEFORE you send a "Let's chat" … Second rule: read MY profile.
No offense, but if you are a Ultra-conservative, God-fearing Christian, who loves to hunt and thinks that movies, live theater and reading are just "okay" then you should not be sending me a "flirt". There is definitely no match there with a music, movie loving, semi-pagan, author/editor. Especially if you are from Arkansas and I'm from New Jersey and I clearly spell out in my profile that due to having an elderly ailing father that I am unable to travel far or relocate. DUH!
I will however read your profile (as evidenced by my comment above) and send you a polite "Thank you. I wish you luck in your search".Hmmm I sound like an employer or agent/publisher.
            When they say online dating is a numbers game, they don't mean send out a million flirts and see what sticks. That is dating spam.
What it means is there are a million profiles out there for you to review and then select which ones seem to be a bit simpatico and then decide if you want to send that flirt or message.
I have so far been impressed with only one gentleman from Virginia who messaged me to say that he was sorry we did not live closer and that he understood my caregiver dilemma as he had cared for his aged mother.
That information about geography is at the very end of my profile. So he had read all the way through. I thanked him for that and told him that I genuinely hoped he would find what he sought.
Next week: What catches my eye in your profile and what doesn't.