Jumping Back In: Pictures Worth a Thousand Words Even Selfies

So this is a day late and NO it's not because I scored a big date on the dating site. Although I have been introduced to one or two who look good on paper. And hey, GREAT for them for getting that far. It's not that I'm fussy. Sure you say, laughing and shaking your head.

I was at an amazing Jazz and Blues festival on the Jersey Shore all day. A terrific day of music, food, fun and friends!

Lots of pictures were taken, which brings me back to my original topic.

PICTURES!

First, gentleman post one. Not being superficial here, but no picture makes me wonder what you are hiding or more importantly, WHO you are hiding from. Is that status of divorced, separated, or widowed to be trusted? Come one, none of us were born yesterday. Now posting a picture doesn't automatically get you a free pass on status, but not posting….RED FLAG.

Second, post a good RECENT picture of yourself. Yes we all may have gained a few pounds over the winter and we all wish we looked like we did when we were 30. But, truth in advertising saves you issues later. Again, if you meet that person in 3D at some point and their first thought is WOW, not what I expected. That will make them wonder, what else is not what they are expecting?

When you post a picture, make it a good one. Everyone has had a picture taken by a family member or friend that they liked, right? I know, I don't like most of the pictures taken of me EVER. But even I could find one or two that I thought weren't horrible.

Okay...maybe not that one.

No selfies in a mirror, or behind the wheel of your vehicle, or any other location.

Also, if you're opening lines say you are a happy fun-loving sort. For goodness sake, be sure you are smiling in your picture.

Again as an author and editor,  a good cover gets someone to pick up the book and open it to see if it's a keeper.

A good picture with a nice smile will make a person want to go to the next step and read that awesome and revealing profile you posted. You are revising it or even writing one now, I hope.

Jumping Back In #1                               Jumping Back In #2

Next week: The hierarchy of contact…the new first base!

Two-fer Tuesday: Sharing two blog links-- Men and Women and Travis McGee

In keeping with my last two posts, I was introduced to these links by a good friend and wanted to share. For those who have never "met" Travis McGee, I am including a brief portion of the Wikipedia entry:

Travis McGee is a fictional character, created by prolific American mystery writer John D. MacDonald. Unlike most detectives in crime fiction, McGee is neither a police officer nor a licensed private investigator; instead, he is a self-described "salvage consultant" who recovers others' property for a fee. McGee appeared in 21 novels, from The Deep Blue Good-by in 1964 to The Lonely Silver Rain in 1984. In 1980, the McGee novel The Green Ripper won the National Book Award.

Read and enjoy the following blogs from Raymond Bechard on the site The Good Men Project:

How to Lose a Guy Forever

How to Lose a Woman Forever

Comment on the blog or here and please feel free to share!

Jumping Back In: Online Dating Profiles--- Reading is FUNdaMENTAL

Last week I blogged about my foray into online dating and how to write a profile. Read that blog here.

In keeping with the theme of profiles, let's talk about ACTUALLY READING them. We all know the joke that men don't read instructions or directions. The reason it is so funny is that there is a large element of truth to it. Come on, you are nodding your head right now in agreement. Guys you know you are sometimes (being polite here) guilty of it or have buds who are and ladies well… we've all been there.

Profiles are your chance to make an impression and weed through or help someone weed through the pile. It gives the other person directions on which way to go in getting to know you or not.

So the first rule, gentleman is complete the profile!

I see too many men who have not taken the time to complete the standard categories. These are tell us about yourself. What are you looking for? And "I'd like to add". We don't need War & Peace but give us something to go on.

I appreciate those who tell me enough about themselves to get past the first decision point.

Then BEFORE you send a "Let's chat" … Second rule: read MY profile.

No offense, but if you are a Ultra-conservative, God-fearing Christian, who loves to hunt and thinks that movies, live theater and reading are just "okay" then you should not be sending me a "flirt". There is definitely no match there with a music, movie loving, semi-pagan, author/editor. Especially if you are from Arkansas and I'm from New Jersey and I clearly spell out in my profile that due to having an elderly ailing father that I am unable to travel far or relocate. DUH!

I will however read your profile (as evidenced by my comment above) and send you a polite "Thank you. I wish you luck in your search".Hmmm I sound like an employer or agent/publisher.

            When they say online dating is a numbers game, they don't mean send out a million flirts and see what sticks. That is dating spam.

What it means is there are a million profiles out there for you to review and then select which ones seem to be a bit simpatico and then decide if you want to send that flirt or message.

I have so far been impressed with only one gentleman from Virginia who messaged me to say that he was sorry we did not live closer and that he understood my caregiver dilemma as he had cared for his aged mother.

That information about geography is at the very end of my profile. So he had read all the way through. I thanked him for that and told him that I genuinely hoped he would find what he sought.

Next week: What catches my eye in your profile and what doesn't.